MR Martin Beth

Why is it that in the past few weeks, Germany has cracked down on my gender? Apparently I am now an incompetent male who doesn’t know better and subsequently continually enters my name backwards. Last name? First name? All the same really aren’t they??

Last night as I tried to check into my hotel in Munich, I was told that I had booked incorrectly and that they couldn’t accommodate me as they were waiting for a MR Beth, first name- Martin. I pulled out the booking to prove that I had, in fact, entered my details correctly and that they must have changed them in the belief that I was a man... I was begrudgingly given a room.

As I tried checking into my flight back to Berlin a few minutes ago, I was told they had no record of me.. again even though I had my printed flight confirmation on me... No, they were expecting a Mr Beth also. Indeed, thereafter followed an embarrassing conversation for the woman at the checkin counter as she tried to politely tell the main checkin centre that passenger Martin Beth was standing there in front of her; “no SHE is standing here. No, No SHE is standing in front of me. Yes SHE.” Etc. Etc.

I need a decidedly more German name - any suggestions?